Most of the time this blog is very surface layer. We don’t dive into our personal lives too much, or the issues of the world. But we feel like we have a good grasp on the millennial generation and we’ve always been great at dishing out advice so we’d love to share some with you.
With that said, this piece is about how to be your happiest self now. We recently watched the movie Paper Towns (a must see!). The message we both took from it was that we should all live in the moment and not wait until XX happens to be truly happy.
This is definitely an issue we all deal with and Carli and I are guilty of it as well. We always say “we’ll be so happy when we’re blogging full-time.” But why? Why will that make us happy. Why can’t we be happy now with how much we’ve already accomplished with our blog. The other day a friend asked us how our blog was going, and we answered with an unenthusiastic “it’s going well.” When we should have said “It’s going great! Our views and reach have never been higher and we’re creating content we’re really excited about.” We shouldn’t have downplayed our success just because we’re not where we want to be (yet). Because in the grand scheme of things we’re in an excellent place.
And it’s not just us, people are always rattling off statements like “I’ll be happy when I’m married,” or “I’ll be happy when I’m done with school and can finally get a real job.” NEWSFLASH: That’s probably not the case. What if you get married for the sake of getting married and end up in an unhealthy marriage? What if you follow the path you thought you wanted to be on, only to end up in a boring dead-end job? There are no guarantees in life. Something that makes someone else happy might not make you happy. We all have different things we want to accomplish and different stories to tell.
So as a society we need to learn to live in the now. Be our happiest selves now. If you’ve suffered any amount of loss you know that life is precious. It sounds so cheesy but it’s the one thing we know to be true. You can’t take your life for granted and you need to live it in a way that makes you feel happy and fulfilled.
Here are some ways to learn how to be happy now:
Know Your Worth
This is tricky. Most of us struggle to value our self-worth, as we all have flaws and things we’d like to change about ourselves. But that doesn’t mean you have less to offer. If you feel like you are being unappreciated or taken advantage of in any way, you need to stand up for yourself. If your boss disrespects you, tell them (politely) that you’re not ok with the way you are spoken to. You should never have to deal with being disrespected in any mass. Same goes with relationships. Don’t let your S.O take you for granted, and show them the same respect. All relationships (romantic or otherwise) are a two-way street. You both need to cherish your relationship and put the work in. You’ll be happy with the outcome. If you have stable healthy relationships you’ll be 100% happier.
Share Your Feelings
This may sound silly but I never understand why people don’t say “I love you” before getting off the phone with their loved ones. You never know when the conversation you’re having with someone will be your last. So throw it in there, you’ll be glad you did. The more you say I love you the better you’ll feel. I’m pretty sure there’s been studies done about this.
And this goes for professing feelings in general. If you are someone who holds things in, stop right now! I proudly wear my feelings on my sleeve. Yes this makes me vulnerable to getting hurt and disappointed, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I say what I’m feeling all of the time and I have never regretted it. But you’ll always regret the things you don’t say.
Be Honest With Yourself
Why is it that we always do what we think we’re SUPPOSED to do. We do what our parents tell us to do, i.e go to college after high school and get a degree. We do what our friends tell us to do, i.e you’re 35 years old it’s time to settle down. But what’s important is what YOU want to do. There is no correct way to navigate life and find success. If you made your parents happy and graduated from college and got into a job that doesn’t challenge you or give you any sense of accomplishment that WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Get out. Think about what would make you the happiest and go for it. Even if that means that you have to go back to school, or have to move away from home. There is truly no point to settle when it comes to your career or relationships. So be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what you REALLY want. What will make you feel the most accomplishment and the most like yourself. And do that. Don’t let all the hard work or discouraging friends and family stray you from your decision. It’s your life and you need to be selfish and do what makes you happy. END.OF.STORY
Progress Not Perfection
This is a statement I heard once and it stuck with me ever since. I consider myself a perfectionist, and when things aren’t perfect I tend to let my anxiety take over which eventually leads to a breakdown. NOT a good situation. But I’m learning that it’s best to count your progress than strive for perfection, because as we all know no one is perfect. To do this I keep a list of all my accomplishments, big or small. I start the list on January 1st of each year and add to it as I feel necessary. Whenever I’m questioning my success, or downsizing it I look at the list and IMMEDIATELY feel better. When you look back at all that you’ve accomplished it’s impossible not to feel proud. And that feeling is always the push I need to do more, and do better.
Focusing on your progress makes you realize it’s the journey that’s really important. When you reach your end goal you know you’re just going to make another. Do you think actors stop striving for more the moment they get their first movie deal? No way. So why do we think that when XX happens we’ll be happy? If you’re like me you’ll always want to do more and fulfill your full potential.
So let’s make each and every moment of our journey count. Have confidence and share your feelings, all of them. Let’s stop telling ourselves that we need to be married, or have an amazing job, or travel the world to be our happiest. The truth is that YOU are in control of your own happiness so choose to be happy NOW.